I would rather read than write.

Q I love to write but hate to read my own work, because I feel I have read it before. What should I do? J. Joyce Dublin

A. Most writers can read, whereas many readers cannot write anything beyond a shopping list.

Complications abound when a writer can write but is unable to read, in which case a third party may be enlisted to read the written words to the author.

This state of affairs can cause an editor to ask an author to explain what is meant by a particular piece of writing.

It is at this point that high art may be invoked and, depending on the editor’s grasp of reality, may lead on to a book being chosen for promotion as a modern classic.

Other writers feel that re-reading their own work will in some way lessen the import of the words.

Where a writer does not like to read their own words, perhaps with some reason, few others may be inexorably moved to acquire that work for their home library.

You could always change your real name and then read your books as if you were somebody else, if that would help.

Eddie.

I suffer from inertia

Q I suffer from inertia and wonder if you have any cure. Is this the same as writer’s block. Is it hereditary and could I pass on a cure to my descendents. A. Miller, Torquay.

A. There is nothing wrong with inertia in a writer’s life; in fact when a writer is inert she may be at her most active.

Civilians often mistake inactivity in a writer for inactivity. Some non-writers even ascribe their failure to produce anything at all as an artistic writers block.

However, inertia and writers block are two different conditions; the former being a pleasant occupation on a warm summer’s afternoon, the latter being a matter of concern to a writer’s financial advisers.

Writers block can be cured, of course, by giving up writing and therefore the cause for concern. A writer who does not write is not actually a writer, in fact.

In this way, assuming some gainful employment is acquired, the cause for misery and concern amongst semi-destitute dependants will be dissipated.

And so, if they are not miserable in their childhood, they will have less source material in their adulthood to write about.

They will be cured before they are afflicted, a legacy of which any writer could be proud.

Eddie

I want to publish my memoir

Q I want to publish my memoir. I may self-publish. What do you recommend? T. Mulcahy, Galway.

A Sadly, most people have a story that nobody wants to hear. This is not as unreasonable as it may seem. Some people are boring, in person and in speech, no less than in print.

You have to ask if your story will be more than a collection of letters lined up to be divided into words, sentences, paragraphs and chapters, or will it make sense to a sane third party.

If that third party is a publisher who says no thank you, and changes their telephone number, then re-consider your plan to be a go-it-alone entrepreneuring publisher.

There are many printers who will happily quote you for printing and binding the specified words in return for advance payment.

Once bound and delivered to you, your task will be to shift copies out of their temporary resting place in your wardrobe and into readers’ hands and minds.

You do this be selling or giving as many of them away as possible.

You should then post to yourself, as publisher, your proposal for a follow-up title. If you find yourself contemplating a change of phone number to avoid the author, you should perhaps get out more.

Eddie