I was not paid for an article I wrote for an editor who has become a recluse.

Q I was not paid for an article I wrote for an editor who has become a recluse, what to do? V. Browne, Dublin

A. It’s all very fine for the editor to say he has no time for invoices and that he is seeking his inner self.

The fact remains that, inner or outer, his self is a louse.

He may have taken up writing poetry as an antidote to editing but that only proves he is not the full shilling.

However, I think your proposal to acquire an imitation firearm might backfire.

What if he just mistakes the gun in your pocket for a growing agreement with his position?

After all, he did publish the article, good or bad. There is already a de facto relationship between you.

And when it comes down to it, how many meals a day can a writer eat? What need is there for money when you are creating art?

This is not a position you are likely to appreciate at the moment, cross as you are; but the editor may have arrived at this moment of clarity in his busy mind and think he is doing you a service by not paying you.

It is a matter of opinion.

Personally, I would spray-paint his gable wall with the amount owing, and follow him to the shops.

Eddie.

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Do I have to write something before I approach an agent ?

Q Do I have to write something before I approach an agent? I. Rankin, Fife

A. Most agents like to eat. This is mostly to stay alive, so that they can work and represent their clients.

And while it is not suggested that your first writing would be a new, exciting, ground-breaking menu with mini-series potential, it would be advisable to consider writing something before approaching an agent for representation.

This could be used as common ground in a social setting when you take yourselves out to eat.

Indeed, it is as well to bear in mind that should the agent agree to take you on, it will be your money he is eating; though he will assure you it is the fruit of your joint efforts that he is consuming.

But, try as you both might it will be extremely difficult to eat thin air, which is what there will be to mull over should you write nothing at all.

It is said that civilisation is only ever nine meals away from anarchy, so perhaps you might concentrate on writing really well; if only to prevent your poor agent from turning into a raging beast for want of sustenance.

Eddie

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